 LONDON: AT 22 dollars a night, 23
dates sound like a steal. Great for busy professionals like Sharmila who value their time. The smart British Asian advertising
executive in her mid-30s is standing in line outside a bar just
off Oxford street, central London’s shopping hub, on a chilly
Sunday evening.
“I’ve never done this before,” admits the speed-dating virgin.
“But a lot of my English and Asian friends have and I thought I’d
give it a go.”
The queue is exclusively Asian, and all singletons. That’s typical
for an Asian SpeedDater special evening for 60 people. Eligible
males in line include an assortment of investment bankers, cardiac
surgeons, businessmen, two policemen, one plumber and one
phone-line engineer.
The specialised evenings, this year’s addition to the three-minute
rotating mini-date phenomenon that’s now the dating norm in the
UK, are increasingly common.
Founders Ben Tisdall and Simon Prockter launched SpeedDater only a
couple of years ago, but it’s already Europe’s leading
speed-dating firm. Earlier this year, they launched their
specialized dating-Jewish, Christian, Muslim and Asian
speed-dating nights. The last is for those who are either from or
interested in partners from India, Pakistan and Bangladesh.
My first date (I’m allotted 23 that night) is so nervous his hands
are sweaty. Not good when the only introduction is a handshake.
“It’s a measure of its success that this night was almost totally
sold out within days even though it was on a Sunday evening,” says
the company’s spokesperson, Rachel Powell.
The demand reflects another trend among second-generation British
Asians. A recent documentary on Channel 4 I Won’t Marry a White
indicated that successful professionals who previously dated
mainly white partners were now on the lookout for Asian partners
instead.
Chap number five, Amit, says he tried a couple of the English
speed-dating nights where he was the only Asian. “All the women
were very polite and friendly, but something told me I was an
outsider, “ he says. “I figured I’d feel more at home here.”
The bell rings to mark the end of the three-minute date and it’s
time to swap seats again. “It’s just not long enough,” says
Gulshan but, as his friend Tanu points out: “You know it’s not the
right person when even three minutes feels like a long time.”
 Though the events are billed as attracting a mainly professional
crowd, the quality of dates on a particular night varies wildly.
“I can imagine that coincidentally, one night will attract a bunch
of bankers, lawyers and accountant types.
But you could end up going to the night where for some reason most
of the guys turn out to be builders,” says Maneesha, an
advertising executive.
I’m tempted to ask for the number of date 14, Jas, who is a
plumber; but that’s more because I’m having problems with my
bathroom taps. Although SpeedDater’s instructions tell you not to
draw immediate conclusions, one lawyer doesn’t even wait till
she’s out of earshot before she delivers her verdict.
“It’s such a disaster,” sighs Daljit. “The guys are so boring I
don’t know how I’m going to get through the next hour.” But she
survives the night and, later, says she will try it again. “I’ve
been out with English guys but the older I get, the more my
culture becomes important to me. So the next relationship I have,
I want it to be serious-and that means with someone else who’s
Asian.”
The final bell rings but some mill around for a brief chat,
finishing their drinks and even swapping telephone numbers. The
overall verdict is mixed.
“A lot of people have said that the best thing about speed-dating
is the other female friends that they make,” says Sharmila. “I’d
say it was the same for me.” |
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