Thumping chartbusters, psychedelic lights, nattily dressed people… chilling, letting their hair down … looking beyond them, I could see three guys smooching and petting, and gradually veering towards the washroom. This South Delhi pub––Pegs and Pints––is a hedonistic haven for gays, bisexuals and frisky dykes on Tuesday nights. Now I’m not a prude, but admittedly, I was startled to spot a couple of ‘happily married men’ singing a different tune. So are these people ‘straight-seeking-more’, ‘closet gays’ or ‘enjoying-the-best-of-both-worlds’ bisexuals?

Rupa was in a daze. The streaming sunshine, the chatter of her kid brother getting dressed for school, and the aroma of fried eggs did nothing to cheer her. She glanced at her boyfriend’s framed photograph and turned away guiltily. How would Joydeep react if he found out that ‘fun and games’ at a pajama party had led to experimental same sex? She arose, went into the shower and tried to scrub last night’s memories out of her system.

Sanjay was getting dressed for his flight back home. His hotel room was disheveled, and so was the boy’s hair. He didn’t mind occasionally picking up a young boy at a gay bar; it alleviated the boredom of overseas business trips. Now it was back home to his wife. He smiled as he thought of Jyoti. He really did love her.

Sexual preferences seem to be getting less rigid and more experimental. “I don’t understand why a big deal is made out of something as trivial as sexual orientation. It is an individual’s prerogative,” comments actress Gul Panag. “Besides, homosexuality or bisexuality is not a new fad. It’s been around for ages; people have just chosen to ignore it. These days, however, anything that was earlier considered taboo is being hauled into the limelight by our generation, which is sick of pussyfooting.”

The ‘why’ factor

What intrigues seemingly happy married couples to sleep with people of their own sex? Are they homosexuals trapped in a loveless marriage? “Social stigma compels several people to get tied down to the opposite sex. In a majority of cases, homosexuality gets suppressed. But in others, this results in adulterous bisexual behavior under wraps,” rationalizes psychologist Aruna Broota.

And then there are those looking for a new ‘high’. “This segment is simply affected by their lifestyle, where money, success and fame play a powerful role,” explains clinical psychologist Laura Vaz. Film actors, models and industrialists, whose lifestyle is dictated by money and fame, often become victims of excesses. When they sleep around too much, they stop getting a ‘high’ from the opposite sex. The attraction lessens. They then begin experimenting with exotic pleasure games and designer drugs, and that’s when they also try out same sex. Ultimately, they get caught up in that lifestyle.”

According to make-up artist Shaukat, “I am not ‘straight’ or ‘gay’. Bisexuality is my sexual orientation.” Though he prefers a man to a woman, he has an equal number of girlfriends and boyfriends. Hailing from a small town, Shaukat accidentally stumbled upon a gay party in Delhi. “I was shocked to see men smooching each other,” he says. “A handsome guy propositioned me there but I refused. But he didn’t take no for an answer and pursued me for months; finally, I relented.”

Designer Rohit Bal negates this viewpoint. “You can’t ‘become’ gay. You either are gay or you’re not. A man who claims to be straight and but can get it on with a man is a liar. A bisexual man is essentially a gay man who can manage to copulate with a woman, and not the other way around!”

Are girls who dig threesomes, lesbians?

A threesome is often viewed as bisexual behavior. One-man-and-two-women is the ultimate sexual fantasy for many men. So are these girls bisexual or lesbians? Perhaps! They say they don’t know what they are and don’t need to analyze it either, insisting that they should feel free to love a same sex partner without assuming that this is how they would spend the rest of their lives.

“I have been dating a woman for the last three years. It started off as a threesome one night. Since we girls enjoyed it, we thought of trying it out again – minus the man. It was fun but I wouldn’t call myself a lesbian. I like sleeping with men too. Men are exciting and unpredictable, but women know exactly what women want. It’s a different experience,” revealed Sheetal.

“People call lesbianism unnatural,” says Ananiya, a member of ‘Stree Sangam’, a help line and support network for lesbians in Mumbai. “It feels so right for me, so why should it bother someone else? I knew I was attracted to women the day I indulged in a raunchy threesome on my boyfriend’s insistence. Since then, there’s been no looking back. In my personal belief, I wasn’t doing anything wrong. Society said so, but I did what came naturally to me.”

But, we’re Indian!

It’s a misconception that alternate sexuality has been handed down to us by the West. If one were to go deep into the Indian context, sex between two males is termed ‘masti’ i.e. mischief. Young men who indulge in same sex are teased about being in heat. This masti often co-exists with marriage. However, the deeper romantic feelings involved is alien to our culture. It is more of a side prop and doesn’t occupy centre stage.

Says Rohit Bal: “Homosexuality has always been a part of India. However, it’s come out in the open through liberal-minded people like designers, film directors and people in power. ‘Coming out’ depends a lot on the profession. If a macho film actor confesses he’s gay, his career is finished. But if a designer proclaims he’s gay, he’s considered cool. It’s just amazing how hypocrisy thrives here!”

He couldn’t be closer to the truth! Veteran Goa-based designer Wendell Rodricks did not bother about speculation when he married the love of his life –– a man. Instead, he had the courage to make public an act that has so far taken place only behind closed doors in the country. Industrialists and models, on the other hand, prefer to keep their sexual preferences under wraps.

But are more gay couples willing to broach marriage? "I think whenever the question of marriage is raised, there will be a large section who will say that you are jumping the gun," remarked a thirty-two-year old model who requested that his real name not be used. "There is going to be no perfect timing for such a thing. We are already on the roll — there are more spaces for gay people now, more activism, more comfort and awareness. At some point we will run into marriage. So why not bring it up now?"

Advantage sex!

Though some bisexuals are ‘closeted’, the concentration of open ‘bis’, especially in the recent past, is in the glamour industry. It’s no secret that a large percentage of designers, choreographers, make-up artists, actors, directors, etc are either bisexual or gay. The infamous ‘casting couch’ is a grim reality for both boys and girls.

However, if some freshmen are being exploited, others know how to use it to their advantage. The rise in the number of male singles opting to ‘service’ males is also an indicator of the trend towards sexual experimentation. Many of these boys are ‘straight’; for them, it’s simply a moneymaking opportunity or career advancement. The most blatant example would be of the married supermodel-turned-actor; only a handful of industry insiders are privy to the knowledge that he slept with a veteran Delhi designer after being discovered by him at a Mumbai discotheque. Today, he’s high on the modeling circuit and as carved a niche in Bollywood too …

Is lesbianism being taken seriously in India?

Compared to the past, things have undergone a sea of change. With human rights becoming a big issue worldwide, many countries have legalized alternative sexuality. In India, with the onslaught of lesbian films like Fire, and more recently, Girlfriend, are we becoming friendlier towards a gay environment?

“I wouldn’t say entire India,” muses Rohit Bal, “but a certain section. Look at what happened to Girlfriend –– the film bred vandalism. We aren’t ready for lesbianism yet.” Indu Mirani, editor, Box Office has a different take: “I think Girlfriend has done more harm than good. The fact that the protagonist has been shown as a negative character who is finally killed, sends out a message that bisexual orientation is unacceptable. What we need is an honest portrayal, not a bashing in.”

(-Despardes)


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